617 Duncanville Road: Episode 1
by Smudge1
Summary: What would happen if SW fan fiction writers lived in the same house as male Star Wars characters?


To:   
Cc:   
Bcc:   
Subject:   
--------  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SW elements Lucas and his   
pimps do…yayayaya.   
617 Duncanville Road  
Episode 1: Introduction  
By   
Smudge  
"DO YOU HAVE   
ANY COMPREHENSION OF WHAT I GO THROUGH!?!?" Smudge screamed like a  
howler monkey   
as she gave the plastic punching bag on more swing. "I live in a house,  
with one   
bathroom, 10 fan fiction writers and the testosterone side of the Star  
Wars   
Universe!! One kitchen, one refrigerator, one ounce of sanity left in  
my entire   
body and mind!!" her sentence was finished with a side kick to the  
punching bag   
that sent it swinging into a glass of water, that was promptly combined  
with the   
plush, white carpet of Dr. Smith's office and study for psychology.  
"Yes, well   
Ms. Fuentes I believe we have made more progress in this session than  
we have   
the past 8. Why don't you come back next Saturday so we can talk about  
how to   
improve your short temper, until then, try not to hit your housemates.  
Okay?"   
Smudge rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag, swung it over her shoulder  
and   
headed out the door, "Bye Dr. Smith." She fumbled with her keys in her  
jacket   
pocket and with a small lapse of thought she began to dial her home  
phone number   
on her yellow cell phone. Pick up, pick up, she thought with   
anticipation, who knows what shape her house was in. Finally an answer,  
  
"What?!?!" a squeaky voice rang through the phone so loudly Smudge had  
to hold   
it away from her ear. "Anakin 1 it's Smudge, is any of the writers  
there?"   
Smudge could already tell it was 9 year old Anakin, his voice was  
becoming so   
high pitched she could of sworn it was mickey mouse that she always had  
to make   
sure stayed out of trouble. "Um…the writers….well they're out at the  
movies.   
Yea, had to go see some Mel Gibson movie, all of them were arguing if  
he was   
more like Luke or Obi-Wan." Smudge sighed as she unlocked her '98 red  
Volkswagen   
beetle. "Well, what's going on over there?" she cried realizing she  
should of   
known better than to leave him there with all those irresponsible men.  
"Well….ya   
know your secret compartment of vodka and tequila?" Smudge froze,  
nervously   
dreading what was about to come next, "Yes…what about it Ani?" she  
spoke   
cautiously, taking note of the sound of glass breaking and raucous  
laughter in   
the background. "It's not much of secret anymore." Smudge moaned and  
slammed her   
head on the car horn, drinking in the terrible noise it made. "Okay  
Anakin One,   
I want you to safely put away anything breakable, all the kitchen  
knives,   
blasters, lightsabers, anything that can do harm to my house or anyone  
else. And   
tell Maul and Anakin Two that if they took my undergarments, I'll rip  
their   
tongues out of their heads and wrap them around their necks. Got it?"  
she   
finished with starting the car's ignition. "Got it babe." And with that  
the   
connection to her real life universe of confusion, nonsense and utter  
mayhem was   
cut off. One thing was for sure she was going to kill anyone who  
crossed her.   
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"Give   
it to me you stupid elf!!" Anakin One cried, as he played tug-a-war  
with the   
green jedi master. "Take my gimmer stick you will not!!" Yoda pulled   
insistently, "But Smudge told me to!!" Anakin One pressed his lips  
together,   
grudging and pulling the stick with all his might, this guy was pretty  
strong   
for a tree stump. "Bite me, Smudge can!!" finally, tired of the game,  
Yoda sent   
a surge of the Force, pushing young Anakin into the wall. "Hey! No  
Force using   
in the house!!" Smudge cried as she dumped her stuff by the door,  
taking off her   
shoes as she went. "Instructed him to take my magic wand, you did."  
Yoda accused   
Smudge, slapping her on the leg with his stick. Smudge exhaled loudly  
as she   
bent down to pick up the old sandwich that was left in hallway floor.  
"Pigs."   
She mumbled to herself. At that moment everyone burst into the room,  
yelling,   
laughing, all talking at once. Lando and Han were singing, "Macho,  
Macho Man.   
I've got to be, a macho man!!" doing the robot as they went. "Look  
Fabio—my hair   
style is a classic. You will always see a bald man, but this whole  
hippie thang   
will be out within two weeks!" Mace Windu and Qui-Gon were at it again,  
"Why you   
bald mother—" Smudge drained out the next two syllables. R2D2 spun his  
head round and began to   
whistle at Smudge, "No, I haven't paid the phone bill. And who has been  
making   
calls to Coruscant!?!?" she screamed, but her voice was not heard in  
all the   
commotion. Suddenly, coming down the stairs in all his evilness  
Palpatine,   
wearing nothing more than mint green towel, pink furby slippers and a  
yellow   
duck shower cap, seemed to grab the attention of everyone, "Has anyone  
seen my   
Skin-So-Soft Lotion?" he said in a delightful voice. His smile faded as  
he   
realized that everyone was staring at him in silence. "What?" All the  
men broke   
into unstoppable laughter and Palpatine spoke out in vain, "You  
insolent fools!   
You just wait when you are all old and your skin looks like a burnt  
leather   
bag!! Then you will wish you had known that Palpatine was right all  
along!!" he   
stuck his nose in the air and went out to the patio, everyone still  
laughing.   
"I'm outta here." Smudge said in disgust. She climbed up the stairs and  
walked   
down the right hall, the writer's hall. Smudge had made sure when  
everyone was   
moving in that all the female writers were separated from the males of  
Star   
Wars. She wasn't about to promote…..promiscuous acts, even though she  
knew they   
occurred anyways. Some of the girls were in love with these guys and  
would do   
anything for them, and the men were more than happy to take advantage  
of that   
fact. But Smudge on the other hand, refused to bend to them, despite  
the   
numerous advances that were made on her. She opened her door to a site  
that   
would probably send her back to therapy for 3 more consecutive years.  
There   
going through her drawers was Anakin Skywalker Two, the 19 year old one  
and   
Darth Maul having a field day with her bras and underwear. "WHAT ARE  
YOU   
DOING!?!?" They turned their heads quickly towards Smudge and smiled  
sheepishly.   
"Just evaluated and confiscating the cargo sweet heart." Anakin  
quickly responded, which was   
accompanied by Maul's always nerve-racking gaze. They all jumped when  
they heard   
a loud THUMP!! Which seemed to be coming towards the closet. "I paid  
the   
exterminator five hundred dollars and he still doesn't get rid of  
rats!" She   
grabbed a huge, thick book of   
How-To-Survive-That-Subliminal-Portal-Of-Doom-Called-Your-Life-Guide  
and held it   
prepared whatever creature of destruction waited for her. She swung  
open the   
door only to spot Luke cradling his one naked foot and they other was  
set inside   
her red pumps. "You're trying on my shoes?!" He gave a lopsided grin  
that must   
of come from too many years spent with Han. "I was…just…ya know…I—"  
Smudge   
inhaled her anger and spat it out like a spit wad, "GET OUT OF THERE  
FARM BOY!!   
And you two as well!!" She grabbed Luke and Maul by the arm dragging  
them into   
the hallway, both hitting the next wall barely missing Prince Xizor.  
Smudge   
turned towards Anakin, "Are you gonna be a big boy or do I need to  
escort you   
out?" she gritted through her teeth. He smiled and began to make his  
way towards   
the door, not to mention her. "Will you hold my hand if I'm not one?"  
his voice   
was low and made Smudge weak in the knees, but she was not about to  
give in.   
"JUST GET OUT YOU PERVERT!!" Anakin slightly laughed in amusement and  
leaned his   
face right next to hers, and when he spoke his lips barely brushed  
hers. "Don't   
worry—I won't let you off that easily." He shut the door with a wink,  
returning   
to go hit on whatever other girl he decided he wanted to use or to go  
beat up on   
Jar-Jar, whichever order they came in first. Smudge realized she had  
made a big   
mistake only letting the male Star Wars characters rent rooms, because  
if they   
were here half of the men wouldn't be dating any of the writers. But  
she   
supposed the female population of the house 617 Duncanville Rd.  
wouldn't be two   
happy about that proposal. Oh well, I guess I'll just let them have  
their   
fun. Smudge smiled as she heard   
the writers come in the front door, all returning from the movie. She  
remembered   
that she had to hurry to be the first one in the shower, so she grabbed  
her   
things and made a run for it.   
Okay everyone,   
I thought this would be really fun and hilarious to have all the female  
SW fans   
wish come true. To live in the same house as their favorite male SW  
characters.   
I'm making this into lots of series and I'm accepting ideas and stories  
from   
y'all. So if you want to do an episode and be in one just e-mail me at:  
  
swaydapsycho@hotmail.com you can send me full   
stories featuring you or whatever or you and I or someone else can do  
an   
interactive story together via e-mail and then put it as a full episode  
here.   
And please, please review this!! I know it's not that good but that's  
why you   
review!! 


End file.
